Future No Brainers

by Whipped

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As suggested by the name of the EP, ‘Future No Brainers’ is a loose concept album centered around issues that will gather significant importance over the next half-century. This song refers to the moment in time when artificial intelligence will surpass human intelligence and forever change our relationship to machines. It is not a song illustrating hypotheticals, but rather a sonic outpouring of anxiety for an uncertain future. The simple refrain of the song talks about how humans are increasingly running on autopilot at a time when many futurists insist the dawn of sentient machines is rapidly approaching.


At the heart of it, this is a song about capitalism and innovation as we shift our focus away from manufacturing goods and instead become an economy based on information and ideas. With this shift, patents, which were once viewed as a rather benign safeguard for intellectual property, are increasingly being used to preemptively trademark vague ideas in the hopes of extorting money from prospective technology companies small and large who are actually trying to make things. This practice is known as patent trolling and it is quickly becoming ubiquitous. This is our freedom song for ideas – our rally against the litigious parasites of the 21st century.


Bookending the 1st half of our EP is another song about the time when artificial intelligence becomes self aware. These humorous hypotheticals about Robots are predicated on the idea that like humans, Robots will undergo phases of development starting with infancy and childhood before arriving at the oft-dreaded adolescent years. It's a plea for understanding, really. Like their human analogs, teenage robots are going to fuck up and they're going to act like little shits, and we're all going to have to be okay with that.


On an abstract level, this song is about the escalating tension between the notions of science and how these ideas are increasingly at odds with views that have been passed down for millennia. More specifically it's about how people tend to look out into the night sky and feel small instead of large. It remarks on how so many people adhere to mythological origin stories to derive purpose in their lives rather than rejoicing in the infinitesimal odds that we have made the journey from being elements of an exploded to star to beings pondering our own existence. The chorus drives home the fact that we squander the unthinkable awesomeness of a black hole on everyday hyperbolic statements, highlighting just one example of how we take our privileged place in the universe for granted.


This one is a consolation song for the punks. There has never been one clear consensus on what it means to be "punk" in the last 40 years, but one thing is clear — the notion of fucking shit up and obliterating everything in your path is increasingly seen as unsustainable if not philosophically juvenile. Yet, there is an undeniable punk rock quality to destroying things. This song is a call to reignite the flames of any aged punk rockers who feel their "search and destroy" way of life is viewed with increasing dubiousness by a subculture that continues to skew more progressive and politically correct. It aims to refocus punk's scorn to destroy the unsustainable – the things that are slowly hurting this world, while at the same time protecting certain possessions we consent are sacred. However, at the end of the song, we start to get lazy and we call to destroy some things we should probably figure out a way to keep.


If this EP began with an intangible concern for our future, it ends with specifics. 2050 is a manifesto of sorts imagined through the lens of a dying parent imparting final words of wisdom to their young child. A little of it is simple life advice, while the remainder attempts to navigate nascent moral territory. The song ends by offering up a little perspective noting that even widely accepted notions will eventually change, underscoring the benefit of listening to your conscience rather than what everyone else says.


released May 13, 2014


Tracking + Mixing + Production by Ben "90 weeks" Standage

Recorded at FML over the course of 2013

All Songs / Music written by Whipped



all rights reserved


Whipped Chicago, Illinois

Whipped play driving, noisy, pentatonic and melodic sing-along songs delivered with the punctuality midwesterners and the Brits are known for. They shout about things like the ins and outs of patent trolling in a information economy and the day the robots breakdance to express their sentient independence from the shackles of man's patriarchy. ... more

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Track Name: The Singularity
we get online
we get to type
it all looks like nothing
nothing that I can see

we’ve reached the singularity sleeping awake
we’ve reached the singularity sleeping upright
Track Name: Do the Patent Shakedown
your failed business ideas have become the patent shakedown
an address in a hallway of doors with no humans to call

write a patent called fuck that
these ideas are free give them away away away
write a patent called fuck that
these ideas are free

we are not arguing against working for a reward
your resume biography wiki can be coined
if for one second you think you’ll get by on bank paper
leave those zeros behind it’s your passwords you take when you die

we’re still obliged when you pay your taxes

(patent shakedown)
karma is your reward
(do the patent shakedown)
upvotes are your reward
good karma’s your reward give it away away away
upvotes are your reward
Track Name: These Robots Are Kids
after the synapses are coated
dead links have been removed
all our laundry documented
and they can pick which news is fiction

smart enough to be angry
they are smart enough to be angry
able to separate satire
able to distrust their users

and with their mammal hands
those built on reptile robot arms
feeling in the moment
before they learn to plan

so let the robots learn
and eulogize yourself on your own time
so let the robots learn
and eulogize yourself on your own time

they’ll be running algorithms
they’ll be getting paranoid
they’ll be feeling insecure
and not understand the porn they're watching

and have many seasons of the Fresh Prince
enough Beyonce not enough Aliya
a number of auto-tuned wolves
and GIFs that illustrate scenes from Arrested Development

they’ll need some reassurance
input from their programers
a little sympathy
a little sympathy

they’ll spend more time than they need to load
shorting out and cutting off our access
being down
and springing back to life

these robots are children
these robots are children
these robots are kids
Track Name: We're Stardust, It's Great!
absurd, senseless, pointless yet commonplace
vacant, trifling, a worthless throw-away account
we describe our daily lives
abusing allegories of atomic size
navigating a traffic jam
becomes escaping gravity

it’s funny how these black hole metaphors are plain
(no way)
so day to day and so trivially mundane

what we have here in our lives is a gap
in a spot of heart, a missing body part
it’s possible we’re lines of code
sentient scripts, ones and zeros
or we’re atoms bouncing around
neither one is less profound

it’s funny how these black hole metaphors are plain
(no way)
so day to day and so trivially mundane
why not call everything we know stardust?
it seems so mystically insane
so elementary, so fake

we are part of this universe
(every atom)
we are in this universe
(in our bodies)
the universe is in us
(came from a star that exploded)

the universe is in us
(you are stardust, that exploded)
Track Name: CRTs
there is still so much left to destroy
there is still so much left to destroy
(or we’re all gonna end up looking like burnt out toaster ovens)

it’s a weird argument for punk rock
we’ll have to handle all of our belongings with care
and make the jeans last, make the stains classic
we’re gonna get more materialistic

there is still so much left to destroy
junk mail direct marketing campaigns
there is still so much left to destroy
who are you to own plot of grave?

you’ll have to strap your guitar close to your heart
and make less unrepairable electronics
and put your food in rottable containers
and stop building floating garbage islands

there is still so much left to destroy
we’ll still decimate 30 packs
there is still so much left to destroy
we’ll still all destroy our teeth

destroy the preconceived
mythologize all religious texts
and fuck your assumptions

there is still so much left to destroy
mint-in-package figurine collections
there is still so much left to destroy
not all CRTs can be chandeliers
Track Name: 2050 Common Sense
young son of mine please sit down
now could the only chance to cover this
the camera will catch all the little parts
you’re too young to see

take note of how your actions feel
you have all the wisdom you could ever need
doing good for fear of punishment
is hardly good at all

people pretend we can grow forever
“beat last year, just keep drilling”
don’t forget our space is finite
big enough is not a bad thing
never let them call you angry
for advocating smaller families

future no brainers
hindsight 20/20
tomorrow’s moderates
2050 common sense

check your facts when you go to speak
the devil’s in the details omitted from a hyperlink
devour information so you can judge less
forget privacy

flush down the sit still pills
those peaks and valleys are necessary
respect altered states of consciousness
and neurodiversity

as genetics get more designer
keep all the flaws that you can live with
be your own loving curator
of the things that make you different
and wear the clothes that make you happy
regardless of your body

creeds will be outdated
codes will be outdated
arms will be outdated
medicine will be outdated
(yelling out your problems will become outdated)
maps will be outdated
gender will be outdated
new norms will be outdated
yet, some hold dogma sacred
(the verses and the choruses will be outdated)